Are you letting other people’s opinions get you down?

When was the first time you remember people talking behind your back or giving you the cold shoulder? For me, it was 4th grade. I was a chatty little kid and had a lot of friends until one day some of my friends decided to be mean girls. 

My friends were sitting on the bleachers outside of our school looking at a Tiger Beat teen magazine. I knew everyone on the cover and was happy to share that I knew all the words to “I think we’re alone now” by Tiffany. We were looking at the magazine together, but suddenly I could feel the energy shift in the group. They looked at each other and started to laugh and smile at each other and turn their shoulders away from me so that I couldn’t see the magazine. 

But deep down in my soul, I knew they were being mean to me. I knew they were trying to make me feel like an outsider. I didn’t want to admit it to myself though! I felt my hands get a little clammy and a little sweat break out on my forehead. This can't be happening, why would they be mean to me? I can’t possibly be getting snubbed by my friends. 

The talkative and assertive person that I am, I decided to take the issue head-on. “I can’t see the magazine with you turning your shoulder like that. Can you please turn it back so that I can see it too? I love Tiffany and NKOTB!” Of course, that didn’t work. You can imagine what happened next. They looked at me like I was invisible then turned their complete back to me and ignored me. 

I slowly stood up and walked down the bleachers to the grass. Of course, the girls saw me leaving and wanted to rub it in even more. “Kara, where are you going?” I responded with “I just need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be back”. I did not need them to see me cry or know they got the best of me. I went to the girls’ bathroom and cried for the remainder of recess. 

What a terrible lesson to learn at such a young age. As you can imagine and relate to the story, that was not the last time I experienced the joy of people being mean to me or talking behind my back. But what is the bigger lesson to be learned in such an experience? I know that hurt people hurt others. When people don’t understand something, they make fun of it. This happens in our adult lives too. In fact, something kind of similar happened to me this weekend. I found out people were saying some unkind things about me behind my back. At first, I went straight back to my 10-year-old self and left it really bother me. I got all up in my feelings for a few hours.

Here is what I do know: self-worth comes from myself, not from others. Every time something like this happens I get to decide to let go of the hurt, forgive, and move forward with compassion in my heart. Or, I can move forward with hurt, sadness, and a chip on my shoulder. 

If I could go back to my ten-year-old self I would give her a great big hug and a self-love pep talk. Kara, you are worthy of greatness, and all that is good lives within you. Your job on this earth is to be and give love and to have compassion for people who need to be shown love and care. Don’t let other people define how you feel about yourself. How you view yourself should come from within.   

If you are caught in the middle of some gossip this week, maybe take this nudge from me and chose to shut it down or walk away. Do your best to take the high road this week my friends. 

Sending you love and light my friends!

Kara